On The Road Again

Well hello how do you do I'm good thanks for asking.  Okay so we have a new rule as well here in the mission Quito.  But not as good as Channing's.  We're all a bunch of iniquitous (do you see Quito in that word?) crap heads so we only have 30 minutes of Internet and my companion has to be behind me reading everything I write.  The thing is that he doesn't understand English and I don't understand his other language so who knows what the heck he's saying?!  But the mission is kinda like football.  When a group of players went out and partied or somebody had a penalty in the game, the whole team pays.  We all run and do up downs and the likes.  So that's what is goin down in the mission.  They're crackin down on everything.  Which is good.  But rough at the same time.  So we'll make it snappy because I gotta write the president too.  

First of all let me just say I am crying myself senseless in my sack cloth while sitting in a pile of ashes.  Peyton Manning a Bronco.  I might puke.  Worse, Channing and Taylor are now Bronco fans.  OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!  Miserable is my state of life.  My mind literally snapped when I read that.  I don't know.  I've always had blind loyalty to the Broncos and the dislike of Peyton Manning (one for his face and two for playing against him in Madden.  Those stinkin audibles took 10 minutes I tell ya!!)  but now he's there.  Part of the team.  It's like eating a great banana split only to find a band aid in the last spoon full.  So I am now in a dilemma of leaving the Broncos or supporting Peyton Manning.  DANG IT!!!!  Hopefully he breaks his toe before I come back.

Molly died?!?!  Or what happened?!?  That dog was my girlfriend throughout my childhood.  Man.  Another hit to my heart.  I might die here soon.

Grandma needs oxygen?!?!  What is goin on there?  Heap yeah I'll come do her lawn just hold on for a year and a half.

Mom is still goin on her feminist lifestyle I see.  Rock on.  You go against the man my mother!

Well yeah this week was...aight.  Have I told you guys I'm teaching English in a school??  Two times a week.  This one member always has some kind of idea bubbling in his head on how to find more people to teach or something.  He was a sweeper in his mission so he knows a lot.  It's just that he wasn't always obedient.  So ya gotta double check this guy sometimes.  But anyway I'm teaching English to some 80 kids and it's madness.  They all know the bad words.  Hey gringito, what does "%$·% mean?  WHOOAAA WHOAAA child I shall burn you if you say that again.  And I thought they were gonna give me something to teach them but nope.  "Here they are!  Teach them English!"  uuuuuhhhh Yeah kids let's learn some English WOOO!!!  (little children voices WOOOO!!)  

So our sector is in ruins and on the point of burning to the ground.  I think the heavens have been crying in shame because it's been raining like mad.  Leave Brett a sector and in three weeks it's become a nuclear meltdown.  It's because we never contacted much with Elder Redd and his stinkin hips and taxis everywhere.  So we didn't put more fish into the pool while we were fishing.  So now the pool is runnin dry and we're starvin here!!  Spent most of the week contacting with minimal success.  Everyone is busy and doesn't have time for us.  Minus the robbers and alcoholics.  But now they're our friends so we'll go teach them.  His name is Mario!  And is friend Luis!  But the thing is that some of our investigators that were progressing don't want to come to church because the members were cold and didn't sit by them nor even say hi.  So they did not feel the Spirit and just felt strange.  So crap we gotta get the members going or we're all going to die.  Learning to love.  That's what I'm doin too.  It's like a ward of gringos like me who are awkward and emotionally distant.  So I'm tryin to change myself so we change them.  We'll see how it goes then!

Um what else?  I'm excited for general conference too.  Gonna have my Tomas S. Monson T shirt on and a bucket of hot wings.  WOOO!!!  We love our quorum of 12!!

 And crap that's about all I have time for.  But just tell people I love their letters I'm trying to write some but don't have envelopes ni tiempo pero tengo que irme entonces adios and les amo y espero lo mejor and NOS VEMOS!!!