Monday, September 26, 2011

WEEK 10 - Nothing Matters When Knowing Nothing Matters....¡Come Ladrillo Niño!‏

The REAL Way To Prepare for a Mission
  1. Be worthy
  2. Read the Scriptures
  3. Read Preach My Gospel
  4. Love People
  5. Dress Like A Clown
  6. Eat a dozen oreos so your teeth are black
  7. Throw 6 marbles in your mouth
  8. Have everyone lie to your face so you can guess if they´re telling the truth or not
  9. Write gringo on your back
  10. Now go walking down the street as everyone gawks at you and how you stick out like a clown in at a funeral, and everytime you try to talk they´ll laugh and not understand a word you say, and the sweet sweet aspect of getting called GRINGO!! every 5 minutes.
There you have it my friends!! You are on the path to success!!!

Naw, I joke but oi this past week was a bit rough. I got sick and had terrible chills then a fever so the night was rough. I was all dizzy and sore and achy and getting up at 6:30 with a few hours of sleep was not appealing. But ya suck it up princess!!! I lived and got through the day with some pain killers. Then the stuffiness came and I´m surviving with other drugs. Hoorah for drugs!! But that was no fun.

Then the families we were teaching have fallen through. It´s sad. I thought I´d get over it but it´s heart wrenching. You find yourself sitting there at night thinking what went wrong and what you could have done to fix it if you were just a little better. Bah. But they´re alright. Everyone has their agency. It´s just frustrating. Like that one sister missionary said, that´s probably how God feels with us when we don´t obey. So it´s a new view on that. But we´re starting from scratch! We had one baptism on Saturday of Lenny, a guy who´s been investigating for about a month and a half and has been to scared to get baptized, but that was cool to see how he changed in that one meeting. They say it´s my baptism too but I don´t think so. Lots of other guys were working with him before and I didn´t talk much between the district leader and the branch president. Just told him he was in our prayers every night and that I know we have doubts but God will help us. That´s about it. So yeah we´re trying again, gonna work hard to get some members involved and start contacting. Move on. And I found a cool new family so I hope they work out.

I found the importance of attitude this week! So I am a horrible contacter, I can´t conversate well. But gospel stuff I can at least say. So it´s like: hello how are you, you live here, that´s great, I´m a missionary for the church this is my companion, and we want to help you. The gospel! But I dunno the mission has a way of magnifying your weaknesses. And I found one of mine. And that was self confidence. My compañero decided I need practice so we went to our neighbor. He said he wasn´t gonna do anything. So I knocked and our lady neighbor came out. I stammered that I wanted to explain who we were and why we´re here. She said she was Catholic and then just ran over me with Spanish. I fell flat and she shut the door. Ouch. I lost hope right there. My comp asked how did I feel. I told him rather nicely, HOW DO YOU THINK?! I´m a 19 year old kid out in some country I don´t belong, with people talking crap about me, trying to speak a language I don´t know, and on top of it all I´m trying to make them change their life for eternal salvation!! So I wasn´t the happiest camper. I felt crushed. But that´s where attitude comes in. You can see yourself as some struggling 19 year old gringo or you can realize that you´re a missionary called to preach these things to this people. This is why I chose my missionary scripture. Nephi, before he got the plates, said he was a young lad, but after his struggles said he was a man. I´m gonna be a man!! It just hurts a little. It´s like 2 a days. No pain no gain right? But now I´m doing a lot better. I´m trying a lot harder and talking more and yeah! I´m chill. Doing what I gotta do.

Talked to a 16 year old atheist. It´s sad. And it´s interesting to see the iceberg of why they feel the way they do. He said all churches just want to take money and if God loved him why does he have no parents or family. Everyone believes a way for a certain reason. He had a hard time. Others, Catholic religion is they´re tradition and way of life. One man couldn´t offer a heartfelt prayer, only what was memorized. That was sad too. That family had no hope, they´re poor and have a sick son. A lot of people have no hope for a better tomorrow and that´s one thing that has been sad to see. But that´s why we´re here. To help give them hope.

Um, I washed my underwear on a rock today. That was fun. We have to wash our underwear by hand. Makes you think of what you´re doing and makes you super grateful for a washing machine.

SO I have a Christmas list. Short. I would like peanut butter, a flash drive with missionary appropriate music (go figure! just not pure hymns.... I have a couple requests, Vocal Points´ Be Still My Soul, Praise to the Man, Nearer My God to Thee, and Josh Groban You Are Loved). But yeah I can buy a sweet little stereo here for 15 bucks and I can have that music on the flash drive. It would be great please. Oh and can I have a new razor head? NR HQ8, Philips Norelco....7310XL. If that makes sense.

But thanks for the letters!! Your adventure with grandma and papa made me laugh. Sounded great!! And rock on for Dillion, Tyson, and Ashley! And rock on Channing! Goodluck! I forgot to tell you I met an Elder from Panama and he was hard to understand but he might have known you in the Guatamala CCM. He said he did. But I forgot his name. OKAY! Rock on my friends. I´m off to another adventure!

Monday, September 19, 2011

WEEK NINE - Estoy Viviendo‏

Yo wut up my heezy peezys. I be livin da life ofh da gran booba ya know wut am sayin sayin mmmhmmmm.

No wait Dillon got his mission call?? To where? I don`t remember this. Where is this football team coming from? Who have they played?? WHY AM I SO TERRIBLE!!! haha jooke I am alive and well and in Ecuador, home of bananas, mountains, and Panama hats. Yeah PANAMA hats Channing. Have one. So chya I am here in Ecuador. It seems like I keep trading one valley for another. The San Luis Valley, The Salt Lake Valley, and the Guaranda Valley. I am in Guaranda!! It`s a pretty chill place, but still bigger than I`m used to but small enough for me not to get mugged and stripped like other missionaries in Esmarelda. Whew so glad I`m not there. A North American's nightmare.

But chya I`m in the zone, or is it area, Riobamba. Aka Friobamba. Cuz I`m up here in the mountains preaching the good word to some families. My compañero is Elder Andrade de Guaigusomethinicantspell. You know. The temple place. So yeah it`s me and him, our district has 4 people in it, two other North Americans. So they speak English. But other than that I`m out all alone. But it`s good! I thought my spanish was pretty good in the CCM but once I got out here I....well I got my booty handed to me and my dignity stolen before I could say Como está.

Geeeeeehheheeeee. So I pretty much feel like a piece of mole that isn´t all the way ripped off or dead. Ya, know. That piece of dead thing hanging off someone's neck but you´re too polite to say anything. That. But hey no se preocupe!! Time right? buh. buhuuhuh. BAH! Yep, so they have a goal here to extend the baptismal commitment en every lesson!! Like oh hello what a lovely house, BE BAPTIZED!!! And then we move on. It was a bit uncomfortable at first but now I´m just goin with it. And one lovely thing I have learned in this time is that I don´t need all the words in Spanish to get my point across. A little bit of spanish with a great helping of El Espiritu and you get a whole heaping plate of POWER!!

Like liver with rice. The liver doesn´t taste or look the best but you have enough rice to drown it out. Like that. Tiene sentido? But still I am pretty mediocre to my compañero and the zone leader. Those guys are awesome. But I´m like the supporting actor. I try to be even that. Not the tree in the background.

Ah sweet missionary work. But yeah I don´t know what picture I`m sending. IT`s one of them. Can`t tell. Good luck. But ookay I need to write the president so I`ll make it snappy

We have two investigating families right now that I hope turn out really good. One family I fear didn´t have the best experience at the baptism on Saturday. So we´re working hard on them. They said we couldn´t meet till Saturday but we´re gonna go visit tonight anyway. Other familia is good. I hope. They have a book of mormon and took the compromisos good. Then we have other people but I don´t know much about them.

Ahlright. But the people here are great and I love em. They pretty good. So yeah! I´m good, you´re doin good, and Cambria, I don´t know why I have a picture of Animal Crossing on my card. Rock on. Love ya all, and I need to find some bananas!! YIPEE KI YAY!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Ama la Vida‏

HOLA! So I am writing in the nice apartment, mission home of my new president in Quito Ecuador. It´s so great. We arrived here around 12:00 or so and it was sooo nice to compared to Lima. That place was a gray trash can and this place is a HD wonderland. So far it´s great.

I will write you on Monday and read your emails. I can´t write now and this needs to be real short because people are waiting. SO yeah I am alive, got all my stuff, I´m in Ecuador, and I should be meeting my compañero tonight and eating PIZZA!!! WOOO!!! Oh and I just want to say, I had my first peanut butter and jelly sandwhich in weeks and it was great heavenly joy.

Alright adios!! Talk to ya later

Saturday, September 10, 2011


Check out the 4th guy on the back row. Does it remind you of a certain elder?


Hola one and all. I write you for the last time in Peru. Gray, large city ppeerruu. wwhhooaa wwhhyy iiss mmyy ccoommppuutteerr ddooiinngg tthhiiss???? ssttoopp!!!! ssttoopp!! ddoouubbllee eevvrreeyy tthhiinngg. Okay it stopped. Just when things are loading. Whew. That would have been annoying. Noooobody panic!! Halt! Breathe!!

SO rock on, Blake those are the kind of hotels you need to rock at!! Sounds like a party. Cambria, math is the devil and the only way you can beat it is by just take it, in all it´s crap laden glory. Hisss. Math. Another bad 4 letter word. WHAT THE MATH IS GOING ON HERE?!?! DON´T USE THAT LANGUAGE IN MY FIELD, GET THE MATH OUT OF HERE YOU DIRTY MATH MOUTH MATHMETICIAN!!!

Oh fall. I think that´s what I´ve been feeling here. But I can´t tell. It gets cold. But it´s always gray. Except for 3 days of sun, or 3 days which had an hour of sun!! Heap yeah.

So anywho, gonna be leaving to Ecuador Tuesday morning. I believe. That´ll be cool. The MTC went crazy fast here. Like WAIT!! They just barely taught us how to study better last week and told us that we could do this type of planning thing which would have been GREAT to know at the beginning. But hey what can ya do? Just get kicked in the butt and sing like Bill Cosby that´s what. So I´ll just go with it.

Last Saturday we had proselyting again. That was fun. Actually taught some people! Told them what´s up! Except when I pulled out the wrong pamphlet, I meant to use The Gospel of Jesus Christ but ended up pulling out Chastity. ooooooh..... But we handled it. And I couldn´t hear on the street because of all these little motorcycle taxis that got running around all over the place. So when they all suddenly looked at me I was like.... uuuh, yeah! if you ever need us Mormons just call! Then they continued explaining the Book of Mormon. OOOH. But other than that it was good.

Spanish is a slooooow painful peace of yucca sliding down your gullet and you just hope someday it´ll get to your stomach and you´ll at least be able to fart with it. Speaking of which! Not farting but yuka! Or yooka? or YAHKAW!! Whatever that spikey plant is by our house. If you get the root and steam that stuff you can eat it! The root. But it tastes like dried chalk. I had some everyday here. It was terribly great. But make sure to steam it. Or you might die or something I dunno I don´t cook yucca....

SO I have some letters to send to people who wrote me, even the Taylors who gave me those great cinnamon roles in Provo....and I haven´t written back......which I am ashamed of and I´m saying sorry for right now.... but yes I do have letters for them! and Brenda and Tyson. I just need stamps. Those things are like gold here. Hard to find.

SO yeah good stuff going down over here. Do I feel ready for Ecuador? HA...HAHAHA. HUH. heh.. huh...he...cough.....sob.....hysteria.....(rips off pants and screams like those men who fall of things in Star Wars and Indiana Jones). Yeah I could be better prepared, with a lot of things, but hey it´s okay with me. Just go out there and do something productive. It´s worth a shot. Not like I can be held back. And I don´t want to anyway. It´ll be good. I can testify and pray so hit me with it!!! I can understand waay more than I can speak, which is kinda frustrating, and subjunctive irregulars are a mother of a french hen with hemorrhoid problems. No fun. But no se preocupe!! If that´s even spelled right. I dunno.

But as many Latinos say, "DON´T WORRY, BE HAPPY". Keep that in your heads this week and you´ll be just fine. Rock on mi familia and soul brothas

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Week Seven: A Jovial Mood

Hello EVERYONE!!! 

YOU ARE ALL HAIRY PITS OF JOY TO MY EARS!! Today was great. New compañero from Colombia is much more chill than the one from Costa Rica.  It´s pretty great.  And I kind of understand what he´s saying most of the time.  I think.  I dunno. 

 So I love what´s going on?! and I sent pictures!!! WOOOHOHOHOH.

So what´s happening? Everyone doing good? So I would like to know what the heck happened to poor Doug? Is he alright now?? ¿Que pasa? and how is Kyle doing in Argentina?? I have no idea how he could understand them.  I even knew what this Argentinan was going to say and I didn´t understand him!! So good luck with that.

SO BLAKE!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! You are in competitions in Vegas and it is great!!! YOU ROCK ON MY BROTHER!!! So since I am in a jovial mood I will just spout out how much I love you all.  Starting with the fatty birthday boy.  Thanks Blake, you and Dad set a great example for me by going on a mission and I tell everybody about it.  You were in a way harder place than I and so I think of what you had to do.  I really should have taken the time to paint more with you and the sisters.  You always tried to develop our talents even when we would rather rot away.  Should have listened more.  But you work hard and set great examples of what you can do if we develop our talents.  So that´s what I will start doing! Start trying to develop more.  "I AAAM YOUR BROOOTHAAAA, YOOOUR BEST FRIEND FOR EEEVVAAAAH SINGING SONGS AND THE MUSIC THAT YOU LOOOOVE, AAAAHHHHH!!!!"

Channing!!! I love ya my fellow missionary.  I know I was sometimes your hardest critic when you were getting ready to go on a mission but that makes it all the more sweet that you´re sticking it out.  I feel for ya when it comes to Español and being in a different country but we can do this.  I really appreciate that you´re out here doing the work and living the gospel because you chose to.  No one made you or it wasn´t expected.  You chose to this and if you work your hardest I know that God will help ya and you´ll get blessings like chicken craps out barley.  Oh yeah.  We´ve been in the crib together, high school together, work together, and now el mision.  We got a great streak goin here!! Awesome.

Cambria!!! You my sister are a dried prune on the tree of bitterness.  But it´s okay.  Because everyone loves prunes.  Especially old people.  You allow bowel movements.  Naw I just wanna say sorry for becoming a sour brussel sprout in my last few years home.  We should have played more, ran more, jumped more, and had many more crazy stories in our heads.  But I got distracted by stupid things going on and being too involved trying to keep other friends happy.  Don´t forget the family!! And enjoy 8th grade.  It´s pretty good.  Once you get used to it.  Rock on!! And I reeaaaalllly regret not learning more piano with you.  You should have slapped me over the head and called me chalupa.  But when I get back we are learning that crap! So start preparing lessons so you´ll be ready in two years.

Mom!!! I know that calling is hectic and you have a lot going on helping support all of us leeches but I know if you try your hardest the Lord will help you out.  You´ll be good for it like you´re good for everyone´s life.  Blessings abound!! Thank ya so much and I know you´ll do great.  I really appreciate what  you´ve done for me and what you´re still doing for me.  I love ya!


Dad!!! You´ve been my hero since I was little and I just want you to know I appreciate you more now than I ever did before.  You served one crazy hard mission but you stuck it out and that shows me just how important this really is.  You work harder than I´ve seen most men in my short life and that´s one characteristic that I want to develop.  I should have gone cutting wood with you more, and just visit the mountains.  So thank you for what´ve you done for me.


Time is ticking.  I am out of here.  Remember the ketchup.